I’ve been reading a few articles about Cuba. One was about the election which I can’t imagine is credible. The other is about Italian photographer Roberto Fumagali’s exhibit hosted by UCR/California Museum of Photography where he catches some amazing images of Cuban life. These articles provoked a few thoughts and feelings about the tiny, island country and a proposal.

Some of those musings were about Cuban cigars and if they’re really the best in the world? Maybe it’s because they are labeled contraband and the connotation makes them so sinfully good. Scarface was the best stereotyped, Cuban drug czar movie made. Desi Arnez is the most famous Cuban besides Fidel Castro, Elian Gonzalez, and Tony Montana and his little friend. According to Michael Moore Cuba has one of the best health care systems the US should emulate.  How do we get access to Cuba and discover its other treasures and share them with the world? 

 I propose the United States buy Cuba or invade it and remove its Communist dictator and establish the same type of civil government Puerto Rico enjoys. Why not? The US invaded Iraq and removed the infamous Butcher of Bagdad, Saddam Hussein. The country is now in the birth pangs of establishing a recognizable form of a democratic government and posed to become an economic powerhouse in the Middle East. The US could do the same with Cuba.  My proposal is compromised of a three-point plan before a military oust is implemented:

1. The U.S. offers Castro $50 billion and immunity for him and his cronies.
2. The U.S. offers an apology for the failed assassination attempts.
3. Castro is given a deadline to comply or risk invasion.

Obviously, Castro with a snort of defiance and a puff of his Cuban cigar followed by a smug chortle will refuse the offer, presented by US liaison Barbara Walters and self-appointed, global terrorrist peacemaker Jimmy Carter.  Invasion becomes imminent. Fortunately, it will be a quick invasion with minimal collateral damage. A virtually bloodless confrontation likened to taking candy from a snot-nose little kid.

The first week compromises of storming the beaches on both the north and south sides of the island and moving forward to Havana and ousting Castro. The second week will begin efforts to hand power over to the citizens and establishing a commonwealth government by invoking the Foraker Law. Following two weeks of celebration by Cuban and Cuban-Americans as elections are held and a governor is elected. During the fifth week the US divides the $50 billion offered to Castro among every Cuban citizen, regardless of age, as an apology for not invading sooner. Reparations would average $4500 per citizen and those with large families would get a bigger chunk, thereby, stimulating the stagnant economy.

Cuba is now set to become the island paradise the world has imagined and waited it to become for decades. It would be a mega tourist destination offsetting the looming American recession.  It's proximity to the U.S. provides the perfect pathway for an economic invasion as every major hotel, restaurant, and gaming industry rushes to buy land and build major resorts to lure the curious at exorbitant prices. A flat tax would be imposed to offset the cost of the invasion. All major businesses will be extended the courtesy of a tax waiver for five years to encourage development. Wal-Mart will also be invited to build its ginormous super centers on all four compass points of the island to provide inexpensive, made in China goods and act as wind-breakers to lessen the destructive impact of the seasonal hurricanes.

The entire infrastructure would be a contractor’s dream and infusing more cash into the US economy. Decades of tyrannical, communist rule and hurricanes has left Cuba ripe for major reconstruction of all existing utility, transportation, and tobacco farming services. A multi-billion dollar effort to build a chunnel from Florida to Cuba similar to the one between England and France will begin.  Simultaneouly, Disney Cuba will break ground in the heart of Cuba.

A new pool of models, actors and writers will be able to share their talents with the world. They will show us new interpretations of old themes from the hearts and minds of an oppressed people whose eyes have been opened to the world beyond Cuba. Blockbusters and bestsellers are imminent. The fashion world will be all about Cuban influences with all of Hollywood dressing up in the latest island trend and using the latest Cuban phrases. A whole new crop of reality shows will spring up on the broadcast airwaves.  Cuba will be living the la vida loca.  More money, more money, more money!

The opportunities are endless, but the US needs to buy Cuba first or invade it.

California 2003. Gray Davis is governor and the DMV increases vehicle registration fees doubling and in some cases tripling car owner’s cost to drive California’s traffic jammed freeways.

August 7.   Arnold Schwarzenegger announces his bid to run for governor on the Late Show with Jay Leno later promising to repeal the vehicle registration fee hike.

October 8.  Schwarzenegger wins the recall election.

There is the strategy in a nutshell.  John McCain could learn something from the Schwarzenegger strategy and implement a similar plan by promising America he will reduce the gas price and do it during the first 100 days in office.  It’s a sure-fire strategy.   I know oil is a traded commodity and the president really does not have any control over the price of a barrel of oil, but the president can write legislation to tap into all of our offshore oil resources and decrease the U.S. dependency on imported oil.

It would be a landslide victory of historical proportions!  Regardless of which political side the voting public is on we’re all feeling the financial hurt gas prices are putting on our wallets.  Heck, I’d even vote for Hilary or Obama if either candidate promised to do the same, but it would feel like I’ve sold my soul to the devil.